The Scar
by Foxgrad
Summary: Some of Elsa's thoughts about the thing she hates most in the world and other subjects. Elsa's POV just before the coronation party.


**Disclaimer: Disney owns Frozen and all related characters.**

**Elsa's POV just before her coronation party. **

The Scar

Please, just please, please, please, please let her remember to stand on my right.

I can do this if she just manages to remember to stay on my right.

I should be used to it by now, I know that, but I just can't stand _it_.

The scar.

That's what it really is, of course. Not hair. Nothing so decorative.

It's an abomination, a desecration, something unhealthy, unclean, and unholy.

Everyone else just looks at it and sees it as part of _her_, but I know better. It's a part of _me_. A part of me that leapt out that terrible night all those years ago and attached itself to my precious little sister.

Oh, I'm not crazy. I can still remember that lock of hair turning from strawberry blonde to bone white. I saw it with my own eyes, after all. I know in my head that that's what happened.

But, still...

But, still, it doesn't _feel_ like the truth.

I look at that thing, that _scar_, and I know it for what it is. A piece of what's inside of me. A piece that leapt out of me that night all those years ago and attached itself to my precious little sister. It's a leech, a parasite, something unclean and evil and sometimes...sometimes I think I can feel it watching me, daring me to get too close, close enough that it can call out the the rest of the power inside of me and summon it to finish what it started that night, to freeze and hurt and k...

Kill...

No, no, no, _NO!_ I have to stop this! I have to calm down. Calm down, calm down, calm... calm... calm... That's better. I have to focus on the positive. This is Anna's big night, after all. Her big debut. This is where the world gets to find out what a sweet, fun, glorious treasure we've been keeping all to ourselves up here in Arendelle. She'll meet new people, make friends, dance, all the things she's been so desperately wanting to do all these years. Everyone who meets her will love her, and...

and...

She'll wish the party will last forever. It can't, of course. Tomorrow all the guests will leave, at least those without official business here in Arendelle, and the gates will close.

But, for Anna...

But, for Anna it will just be the beginning. Once the world gets to see her, she'll be invited to every ball and event in Europe. She'll go everywhere and meet everyone and they'll all love her. She'll wear all the latest fashions, even if I have to sell off everything in my wardrobe to make it happen, and she'll...

she'll...

She'll never want to come back.

It's for the best, of course.

Of course, it is. I mean, how would it be any different from how things are _now,_ from how they have been for _years?_ Me, behind my closed doors, and Anna out there in the world having fun and being her sweet, irrepressible self.

Who am I kidding? It will make all the difference in the _world!_ There won't be a day that goes by that I won't feel her absence. Well, I do _now,_ but it will be infinitely worse _then._

I just...I just don't know how I am going to be able to stand it.

Agh! I'm doing it again! I have to focus on the positives. Anna's going to be wonderful tonight. She'll have fun and dance and...

And I'm finally going to talk to her. I mean, _really_ talk to her. The way sisters should. I'm going to tell her she looks beautiful and we'll talk and laugh and...and...

And I'll start to say good-bye.

She won't know that, of course. This will all take time. The guests will go home, and then Anna's invitations will start to arrive, and she'll start making trips to the neighboring kingdoms. I think she'll be reluctant at first. At least a part of her will be. I know she'll also be so excited. She might even want me to go with her. Of course, as the newly-crowned queen of Arendelle I'll have a good excuse to not go. I'll have plenty of work to do. I just hope it will be enough to keep my mind off the fact that she's not here.

Still, she'll be around for a while yet. Maybe I'll even be able to talk to her some more.

I think I can do it if I just don't have to look at _it._ If I don't see the scar I think I can talk to her like a normal, everyday big sister.

So please, please, _please_ let her remember she is supposed to stand at my right side!


End file.
